It is all going great until it isn’t
When Arlo started nursery and I went back to work, I felt great, like myself again. I really thought to myself “you’ve got this.” Then one Tuesday at 2pm, nursery called, Arlo had a fever. With no family nearby and knowing that my husband was unavailable, I had to finish work early for the day to collect and care for Arlo. If I am honest, (alongside hoping that my child recovered quickly) I felt a little frustrated and anxious of how I would be perceived by my colleagues.
It is at this moment that all the inevitable questions start running through your head. How long will they need to stay at home for? Will they need to go to the doctors or hospital? What if I get ill also? And how will I manage my work? Will I need to take some time off?
When they are little, it is hard to juggle working from home when your child is sick. Unless Arlo is napping, he wants my constant attention and will try to play with my work phone or laptop if I attempt to action anything. This made me realise that you need a contingency plan and if you have a partner, you need to agree a deal that works for you both now that you are back at work. It is not fair that the responsibility should always fall to one working parent.
If you have non-working relatives nearby, well that is the dream. The reality is you probably don’t. When I was growing up all my grandparents had retired, with today’s ageing workforce, all of my son’s grandparents are still working.
One frustration for parents can be having to use precious annual leave for childcare. It is important to familiarise yourself with your company’s policy regarding emergency leave for childcare – do they offer any support? Remember that as a parent you and your partner are both entitled to Unpaid Parental Leave. This is 18 weeks’ unpaid leave for each child up to their 18th birthday. The limit on how much parental leave you can take in a year is 4 weeks for each child (unless your employer agrees otherwise).
Parenthood can feel like an endless campaign of unforeseen challenges. Luckily, you probably have years of experience managing unforeseen challenges at work and trust me, the skills you have developed at work are very much needed as a mother. One challenge we faced was when I was unwell during my second pregnancy with hyperemesis gravidarum. I was signed off sick from work, I could not leave the bed let alone care for Arlo. My husband had to do everything from drop off to bath and bedtime which usually clashes with his working hours. With the help of our nanny, he was able to manage his work around our son’s routine – it can be done. Both our employers were supportive and understanding – it was a one off. Then it dawned on me, taking time off for emergency childcare is adhoc, it is not the norm. We should not feel guilty for having to care for our children. We will get the work done, whether that is managing our work during nap time or in the evenings. We may need a contingency plan, but what we also need are understanding employers who trust us and support us to manage motherhood alongside our work.
As at work, there is always a way forward from the unforeseen, but you may wish to have a back-up plan in place just in case that call from nursery comes as you head into an important meeting.