Is there a right time to go back to work?
“Are you really going back so soon”, family friend, “We have never had to look after a baby so young”, nursery staff member - these are examples of some of the responses I received when I started thinking about returning to work after my recent maternity leave. Not only do I continually worry about whether I am giving my children enough one on one time, reading enough books, cooking the right food, giving each child enough love, remembering not to swear… on top of this was a deep uncertainty around whether now was the ‘right time’ to go back to work.
As someone who has taken maternity leave twice, there was never any question of whether I would go back to work or not. Financially we need my income and, for my own mental well-being, becoming a stay at home mum just isn’t for me. I love my children with all my heart, but having my own career, own income and some time away from them means I can be a much better mother.
My returns to work were very different for a number of reasons. With my first daughter I returned to work after nine months. I would have gone back to work sooner had she been a better sleeper! I found the adjustment to using my brain again incredibly difficult and I really struggled with terrible imposter syndrome. I questioned whether I was capable of doing my job and considered whether I should instead take an easier, less demanding job. I don’t think this unease was helped by going into lockdown after only being back in the office for two weeks. Almost as soon as I returned to work I was back, working from home, and stuck in the house that I had just spent the last nine months in. The idea of working from home full-time was a completely new phenomenon for most people. However, on top of having to adapt to being a working mum for the first time, learning how to use to Zoom and with no face-to-face contact with my colleagues - it was quite the adjustment. Luckily, our childminder lived two doors down from us and stayed open for a large majority of the lockdowns, which was a massive help. Between my husband and I we managed the juggle, often working in the evenings after our daughter was in bed.
Apart from a few teething issues due to forgotten passwords, getting locked out of various systems etc., my second return to work was much smoother. I was ready to go back after seven months this time. The flexible working at my firm allowed me to do the majority of my role from home, something that I was used to and thoroughly enjoyed. I was so glad to be back talking to adults! I love my job and feel very fortunate that I have the flexibility that allows me to decide a structure that works for my family and my career.
For some, three months of maternity leave is plenty, for others they take a full year or more and are so glad they did. I would never regret my decision to go back to work when I did and the less we can judge mothers on their decisions around returning to work the better. We are all doing our best and most of the time we are exhausted. However, I like to think that I am showing my children a good example of how you can have a career, be a good mother and help give them the best future possible.